We’ve just entered 2017 and it comes at such a perfect time to be writing this letter to Hugo, with so much change happening for us as a family I want to write this to remind him (and me) of this precious time in our lives.
To Hugo, my little hugglemonster
You’re such a big boy now who loves his independence and to try and do things by himself. When I bring you breakfast in the morning, straight away you pat the table and say ‘on the table mummy, Hugo do it’. Or when you want a big boys cup instead of a bottle, of course it pulls on my heart strings as I see my little baby not being so baby-like anymore. In saying that it makes me so happy to see your confidence grow and willingness to try new things and most of all how proud of yourself you are when you achieve a new little goal. Never stop dreaming little one because you can do anything you put your mind to.
I sit here and write this as you’re lying next to me with your comforting breaths. You haven’t been well this week with suspected gastroenteritis which has consisted of projectile vomiting, diarrhoea, complete loss of appetite and fever. You’ve wanted me close to you all week and after a minute of me leaving you in a room I hear your voice shouting, ‘mummy, where are you?’. My little love, don’t you know? I am and always will be right here for you. Wherever you go in this big world, I am always right here for you. Even when you’re naughty or mischievous, that will never change. My love for you is unconditional. I pray all the time that God blesses us with health and a long and happy life together and I pray this for all my family and friends, this gives me comfort that I have done all I can to protect you whether I am near or far to you.
In saying that; there’s not a moment where I stop worrying about you, particularly when you’re not well like this week… the maternal concerns never end. But we should not worry about today, tomorrow or the future because tomorrow already has worries of its own so today we shall live in the moment. Think positively in every situation and know that we have done our best.
We’ve recently moved house only about five or ten minutes away from our previous little home but nonetheless it has been quite a big change in scenery and lifestyle. For the better I hope. It brings me so much joy just being able to see your smile as you run around the house with the phrase ‘come get me Mummy’ on repeat, or Daddy of course. The shrieks of laughter fill the air as you feel me getting nearer to you with the expectant tickles around your neck as you start to run with your shoulders hunched up close to your ears. It goes without saying that these little moments fill our home with a whole new level of excitement. I’m speaking on behalf of Daddy here too but I know he’d agree with me in saying that you fill every part of our lives with so much love, purpose and happiness. One of my favourite things you do is when you grab both daddy and I around our necks and pull us both in close to you so we can enjoy one big family hug and kiss. I feel so lucky to have those precious moments.
I’m so proud of you. You surprise me every day with how clever you are and the things you know that I don’t realise you know. The words that you choose to say astound me sometimes; just like this morning when you were having your Rice Crispies and commented ‘mmmm delicious’ or when you tell me to sing a particular nursery rhyme and you clap and say ‘well done Mummy, that’s fantastic’. You fill me with an abundance of smiles and I feel so rich in love since you came into our lives. It’s hard to fathom that I’m going to feel these same feelings when your little brother enters our world as I feel that my heart can’t possibly grow that big but I have absolutely no doubt that it will and already has done.
I know this is perhaps going to be one of the biggest changes in all our lives as we grow into a family of four. I’m anxious that you might get jealous at different times when I have to attend to your little brother when you might want me at the same time and how we will get over that hurdle but I know we will and we will become a stronger unit because of it. I can see that you already have so much love to give to him and that you’re going to be such an amazing big brother to him. I think my heart might actually explode when I see you bonding with him as you have such a caring nature about you and I know that he will absolutely be besotted with you. I picture myself standing in a door way peeping around as I watch you interact with him without you realising… I can’t wait for these moments!
There is so much change happening at the moment as well as trying to look for the perfect nursery for you that’s a little closer than a 20 minute drive away on top of everything else, I’m sorry that it’s all come at once but you’re dealing with it all amazingly! I think you’re actually dealing with it better than I am to be honest. One thing I’ve been really struggling with since we moved is not being as close to you in the house as we’ve gone from a snuggly little three-bed home to a larger and more expansive house where I’m not just a few steps away from you in the night.
When Philips Avent contacted me asking if I would like to try one of their baby monitors it was like an answer to prayer. The video monitor that we chose means that I have huge peace of mind when you’re upstairs and I’m downstairs or even at night when you’re in your own room… I can hear you and see you whenever I like and check that my little love is safe and sound. I’ve never had a fancy monitor before and I love that I can even choose to put lullabies on or even talk to you through the monitor. It’ll obviously come in very handy for your little brother too! We’ve also had lots of fun with it around the house too haven’t we, like walkie-talkie style, the list is endless :).
Thank you for always bringing so much fun and imagination into my life, you’re one of the biggest little loves of my life!
***I just wanted to mention on a little side note the picture quality on the monitor is fantastic in the day and night too and I would highly recommend this for anyone looking for the perfect monitor.
A big thank you to Phillips Avent for sponsoring this post and giving me the time and space to put into words how I feel about Hugo and documenting this part of our lives! One of my favourite posts to date :).